Wow, Game writers are slackers...but Link isn't!

Okay, so it has been awhile since my last blog post. Yippee, right? Who wants to hear about games besides me?

Well, I do. So, I don't care. My latest game quest happened to be a certain game I completed some time ago; Zelda: The Wind Waker.

Why, you ask, would I like to go back and play something from several years ago? There are so many other exciting and new games to play, complete with fabulous graphics and mind-blowing effects.

...Cough.*cricket chirp* I didn't say anything about a good story though. I'm all about beefing up the graphics of a video game. Hey, I want my zombie-flesh-eatting-experience to make me want to pee myself . But, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, I want a game that not only has decent graphics, but something that has decent story and game play!

Take Final Fantasy 13 and Dragon Age 2 for instance: Wow! They are so realistic I want to frolic in the land of Pulse, or make those dirty Kirkwallers take a bath. I could smell the scum on them. (I didn't notice any real "water source" in town. I can't imagine how they bathe.)

Sorry, Lightning. I just don't care about you.

Game play? Well, for FF 13, I was sorely dissappointed. After I finally got all of the characters, there was really no point to switch them out. I became bored with the game, to be quite honest. I didn't finish it, and I am not compelled to do so.

Dragon Age 2? I played through the game. The actual game play was really fun. I enjoyed the battle system, the witty banter, and the charatcers. However, when it came right down to it, the story line was full of dissappointment. "Hawke" the champion wasn't really a huge champion. I figured I'd do something far more outrageous than battling a bunch of racist bigotry against Fereldens, Elves, Mages, and Quanari. At the end, I didn't even care. I decided to start another game just to complete the quests again.
Also, this game lacked options the first game had. Isn't that back pedaling?

I digress. I gave up on my PS3 exploits, until I can find my own copy of Assassin's Creed. In the meantime, I decided to pick up on the ol' Gamecube once again. Imagine my shock as I turned it on to a lovely error message that clearly stated that my memory card was corrupted, no longer functioning, dead--but, more importantly, ERASED. 

Several of my Gamecube games were stored on there, and I was uproarously pissed off. (I'm sure that is not a word; however, I was so angry, the situation called for a made up word.)

I have to start from scratch now, which means I have an opportunity to start my gaming nonsense all over again. My Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker was the second of my exploits. (My first was Lego Starwars. We will get to that at a later date.)

 Okay, when I began this game, I remembered almost instantly what I hated about it; the views, the boat, and the long-ass time it took me to do one thing.

I realized when I was recalling my boiling hatred for these sections of the game that this moment solidified my thoughts about all games.

-If a game is good, there is no complaining about game play, story, or graphics.

Zelda has never dissappointed when it comes to game play, or story. The graphics improve with every game, and this particular game was no exception. I haven't seen this kind of emotion on a cartoon character since Disney last made animated films. (What's up with that Disney?)

The same goes for any Mario game I've played. (except Mario Sunshine. People should forget that garbage even exists.) I never stop playing them because I can't stand the character, or the story. (Graphics are nice, but come on. Give me old style Bionic Commando over FF13 any day.)  It occured to me that gamers nowadays just want the quick fix. They want their game, their graphics, and that's pretty much it. Pumping games out onto the market has become the main focus, but the quality in good games has dropped. 

Windwaker, however, came out years after Ocarina of Time, and Majora's Mask. I was anxious, I'll admit, but when I played this game it was well worth the wait. It was different; a new twist on an old story. Ocean sailing, and all, I was excited to beat the game. It was enjoyable to play, though I had my complaints. Again, there is no perfect game.

Following Windwaker, came Zelda: Four Swords, which was also a great little game, with much replay value. And finally, after long years of waiting, Twilight Princess - Another game that did NOT dissappoint.

It makes me wonder what the writers are actually doing. Final Fantasys are more misses than hits nowadays. The once lovely music, game play, and characters are just shadows of their former glory. (Seriously, after 10 and maybe X-2, what is there?)
Dragon Age's potential is still there; awesome game play, great idea, but what happened to the story? Characters and story took a back seat for the sake of time.

I'm actually glad that my memory card erased. Now I can actually play some good old games. People wonder why something like Contra, the original Final Fantasy, or Zelda are worth so much money. Well, when it comes to good old-fashion story, we have to reach back in time to get it.

New Year's Resolutions : By Zack Fair

Okay, New Year's Resolutions are different for everybody, but one of the most common is weight-loss. Don't deny it. Almost everyone makes that fly-by-night promise to drop 10, 20, 200 lbs. How many stick with it, well; that's something completely different. I, too, am guilty of making claim to this terrible New Year's trend year after year, but this year I'm doing something completely different. That's right! I am doing the New Year's Resolution of weight-loss the way Zack Fair from FFVII does it.

No, I'm not going to be infused with some massive amounts of Mako to get crazy eyes and ultimately lose my mind and go on a killing spree ala Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth. No. The key to any weight-loss program is killing enemies and doing squats. That's right- I said SQUATS.

I have recently started a game called Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core for the PSP, and it is a throw back to the world before the famous Final Fantasy VII takes place, with the whole Cloud, Sephiroth, Aeris thing. (I love it. Honestly. Love them.)

For those of you who don't know the whole story, Zack is in FFVII briefly, and here's a spoiler alert (But seriously, if you haven't played this game, you live under a rock.) Cloud takes his identity and 'live's his life for the both of them.' Why? Because Zack is murdered by the very company he was trained by. Shinra Corporation really does suck. So, Crisis Core explains the events that lead up to Cloud's re-entrance to Midgar, or the begining of FFVII.

But back to Zack! He starts off the game as a Second-Class Soldier. In Shinra terms, SOLDIER is the rank of special task force warriors that they infuse with all sorts a Mako to ensure they are the best warriors. He eventually becomes a First-Class SOLDIER, and he matches wits with some of the best SOLDIER heroes in Shinra. At this time, SOLDIER is like rock-star status; women make clubs for these men and have newsletters and weekly meetings. It's pretty nuts. So, as far as anyone's concerned, he KNOWS how to get and keep in shape!!

So, Here's the Zack Fair NYR diet plan!

1.) Do as many squats as you can, whenever you can. -- Zack does squats while he waits for missions, while he is talking with his friends, for contests, and hell, even on vacation! Zack constantly does squats and he passed down that tidbit of knowledge to Cloud. So...Squats people. Plenty of 'em.

2.) Get infused with Mako. -- Okay, this is a bit harder to do than squats. (not by much) First off, I'm not sure Mako even exists yet, or anymore...however you want to look at it. But if you DO manage to get your hands on it, it's tough to find someone who could inject it correctly. I'd imagine it was like stereoids, only...it really doesn't 'bulk' you up. It just makes you a better fighter and ultimately makes you loose your mind, turn into some monster, or throws you in a comatose state. But, hey! It might be worth a shot. Actually, I really don't reccommend this one, else you end up like all SOLIDER - crazy, delusional, or dead.

3.) Carry around a massive sword. -- Okay, Zack has a two-handed blade to start, but then his mentor Angeal hands over the famous Buster Sword. Now, weilding that crazy thing has to take some girth, so I suggest several reps a day. You can't just pick up a Buster Sword and start swinging. No way you could handle it! But, you should train with several other swords, increasing the weight so you can finally carry a sword that is twice the size of you!!

4.) Fight enemies, always and often! -- Zack can't possibly go soft when there are so many people he has to kill! Yes, enemies of Shinra, monsters, and people of his own rank that try to challenger him; they cannot go unpunished! You can't get buft while running away. I'm not saying charge into battle with someone ten times bigger than you, but if you can outsmart 'em...more power to yah!

5.) Run or walk everywhere! -- I think this is more than a Zack thing, but a major Final Fantasy thing. What better way to stay in shape than to walk/run everywhere! No vehicles needed. The more you move the better you are. Yes, Shinra has all sorts of vehicles, but what better way to build stamina that running across the entire world!

6.) Get a sponsor! -- Okay, Shinra isn't the best sponsor to pick. Sure, you can build up strength, but there are ways you have to pay them back. Some of the tasks aren't so bad; going on missions, doing a little exploring, treasure hunting. But some of them aren't so good; killing off innocent people, tracking down old friends and murdering them, or using your body for scientific experimentation. While it's good to have help in your excursion for a NYR, try not to pick the company everyone despises.

That's all I have for right now. But consider the success stories of everyone in SOLDIER...those who haven't died, or weren't hunted down....

Actually, I think Cloud is the only one who survived, and he wasn't even IN SOLDIER. Well, Zack helped him out. So, one is good right??

Anyway, Zack Fair knows his physical fitness. If not, well you can always play Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core.

Link is a Die Hard

It's not hard to prove, not by a long shot. If I could think of any die-hard hero of the video game world, someone who, despite all odds and a lack of anything in return, constantly accepts the same quest generation after generation, then Link from the "Legend of Zelda" series is the one.

My personal journey with Zelda didn't start until I embarked on the Adventure of the Ocarina of Time for the N64.

I remember years before this I would dabble in Link to the Past, Zelda, and Zelda 2. My brother would then accuse me of sucking up the place with my poor video game prowess, and I would quit in a fit of anger and spite. He had no interest in the N64 after he bought a Playstation, and I had the opportunity to prove him false.


PRESS START TO PLAY!!!

This game is one of the best. Why? Because of everything it has to offer. It has action, role-playing, puzzles, and mindless hack and slashing. What's not to love?  Link is a child, who lives in the forest with a bunch of other beings called Kokori. These little beings are children forever and each of them has a fairy. Everyone but Link, that is. It sucks to be the outcast. One day, the forest guardian, the Great Deku Tree, calls upon Link to embark on a little quest to kill an evil parasit embedded inside the Deku Tree himself. The Great Deku Tree gives Link a fairy buddy (about time too, since all the Kokori were making fun of him) and tells him to get to work.

From this point on, Link is trapped into helpi ng everyone in Hyrule with few rewards in return.
As a child, he is sent from his home to find the Princess of Hyrule, who sends him on another quest to find a bunch of shiney stones, because of a prophetic dream she had, to stop evil from destroying the land of Hyrule. She wants this little sheltered child from the forest to embark on a quest to save the Triforce, the power of the Gods, from Gannondorf, the King of the Gerudo. (Desert Thieves...bandits...ninjas, all of the Gerudo are women. Gannondorf should have counted his blessings.)
Link must climb mountains and befriend the rock people, Gorons, and help them before he gets any type of cooperation. He must swim across vast oceans to assist the Zoras, water folk, before he can get the Zora Sapphire. Not only must he search for these stones, but he must go around Hyrule helping EVERYONE (and gets engaged by the way) just to get the tools he needs to get the stones for the Princess Zelda.

After he manages to gather everything, the Goron Ruby, the Kokori Emerald, and the Zora Sapphire, he returns to find that...his princess is in another castle! (No, not kidding. He runs into her as she is fleeing with her attendent, Impa. Mario, eat your heart out.) What does he get? Hit by a lightning ball by his arch-nemisis, Gannondorf, a crappy ocarina, and SPOILER ALERT! trapped in a time warp for seven years.



At least I get to steal a horse...

I truely feel for Link. He loses a good chunk of his life for the cause, and he isn't done after that. He has to go wake up a bunch of Sages in order to stop the evil lord Gannondorf from weilding the Triforce and destroying what is left of Hyrule.

Yes. After all of the trouble Link went through to get the shiney stones from each of the races of Hyrule to protect the Triforce, Gannondorf still got a hold of it. Why? Because he was too little to protect it. The Master Sword, sealing away the triforce and keeping evil away, was pulled too early, and sealed our hero away. (Hence the seven year time gap!)

As he goes along waking sages, Link loses a good number of friends to the cause. Maybe because most of them awake as Sages and can no longer live in the same dimension of existance. He also spends a great deal of time searching for Zelda, whom he finally meets at the end. He doesn't spend any extended time with her either. In fact, after he defeats Gannondorf he SPOILER ALERT! gets sent back to his childhood to the place where he grew up. It's unclear if all of his friends have returned from their Sagely buisness (they probably did) but the most Link gets from this journey is, "Hey. You're the Hero of Time. You're not really a Kokori, and your parents were killed! Eventually, you will grow up and have to get the hell out of the forest and find some new friends." And his fairy leaves him. Suck.

At least he ends up with a horse, right? Eventually.

I find it happens that way with all Zelda games. Link is the unquestioning hero, and we love it. Seriously, I love this game very much. Link gets a raw deal though. Heroes are always being stepped on and under appreciated. They work for the good of all and then they are promptly forgotten. (What has Link done for me lately? I'm sure Zelda thinks that every time she needs the Hero of Time.)

Most heroes don't really get much though, do they? They are expected to do what is asked of them, no matter how much is asked of them, because they are special. They get special titles and then they get a pat on the back for their efforts. I suppose Link would get bored if he didn't get called into action every time Princess Zelda needed something. Well, as long as they keep makin' em, I'll keep playin'em! Go Link. Do whatcha do, being a hero and such.

Final Fantasy Tactics and My love letter to it...

Dear Final Fantasy Tactics for the PSP,

I WANT YOU!! The mere fact that I cannot have you makes me weep on a daily basis. Though, I'm quite sure if I put some money aside each month I might be able to purchase you, the simple matter of fact is that I have not the money to put aside. Yet, I yearn for your excellence each day and am , right now, contimplating the ways I could aquire you.

I will work overtime. I will exceed my capacity to work and therefor harm myself by doing so much work. I will apply for worker's comp....and when that fails, I will go to the store, kill the manager and skip away carrying you lovingly in my arms.

These are just mere fantasy. These fabrications cannot fill the void in my soul.


Why do I pine for you so? It is not your terrible storyline. Let me be blunt. There are better things out there, by a long shot, but that alone has not swayed me. Your game play is immaculate. I can waste hours upon hours leveling up my characters on the battle field, with every minature chess-like quality they have. I push myself to accomplish and complete each job class before I move onto the next, whether my characters be white mages, chemists, knights, or thieves. Yes, I spend the time calculating battle moves that recieve the most job points, discovering how many times I can level up per battle, and contimplating hitting my own characters, just so I can get an action off.

Yes, there are so many job classes to choose from, and I wish that I could have at least one character from each game master them all! I enjoy the nameless characters you give me to begin my game. (Yes, they do have names...but not often can I pronounce them.)
I will and can spend countless hours toiling away between fights, accumulating massive amounts of cash so that my characters can purchase much needed equipment.
I promise, if I can have you, I will not throw you against the wall in a fit of rage, when one of my characters is cheaply killed with a lucky hit. I will not swear profusely if that character you have just killed...is the only one with the means of reviving any fallen character. I will happily re-set the game, even if I haven't saved it in about four hours. That would be my own fault, for the true creed of the RPG game player is to "save always and often."

I pledge that I will not grow tired of you and leave you unattended in a drawer. I am sincere in my begging and pleading, since your game play brings me many hours of great joy.

There is nothing in the world I'd like more to mash buttons in your honor. I want to take the journey with Ramza, Alma, and Delita--despite the fact that I click through the dialouge. It is all worth it to enjoy the victory over my enemies. I heed to your level suggestions for each battle, and promise that I will exceed that level by 15. If that level be 20, I shall be at 45. It may be ridiculously high, but I wish to smite those evil doers and plan to cackle madly while doing so. I do this all in your honor, Final Fantasy Tactics. Please. Allow me to take you in my hands and play you like no one has ever played you before.

My love...for you...always. <3 <3 <3

It's Smashing Time!

Now here's a bit of nostalgia. Super Smash Brothers for the Nintento 64 was a huge hit back in the day. My friends and I would actually gather at someone's homestead (usually Amy's) in order to beat the crap out of each other through games. It isn't the first fighting game, not by a long shot, but it is one of the most fun. Nintendo's greatest characters of all time...matched up for a huge, but friendly, brawl!

Link, Mario, Pikachu, Kirby, Samus, Star Fox, Donkey Kong; all of these names bring that shimmer of memory for old games gone by, and new games with all of their possibilities.  Who wouldn't want to be Ness, Captain Falcon, or Marth from Fire Emblem? To tell the truth, I didn't even know who the hidden characters where. I was just happy to have hidden characters. But though I loved to beat the hell out of my friends, the real gaming began when I introduced my brother to Super Smash Brothers Melee for the "Cube."

What was exciting about Melee, was the introduction of better graphics and all new memories from the past; like Game and Watch, Mew Two, and Ice Climbers. Even Dr. Mario got in on the action. What was more important was when my brother, Donald, began to play the game. He is special and many ways, but one thing he loves more than ever, is playing Super Smash Brothers Melee with me and my other brothers. (For those of you keeping count, I have three, and yes...I am the youngest.)

Donald loves Melee. He could change the colors of the costumes that the fighters wear, he could pick the stages, watch explosions, and mash buttons until his fingers were sore. We used to play all of the time. What he enjoyed most was playing me and my brothers in the Vs mode. That was his big birthday wish. Every year, we would gather in front of the Gamecube and battle. Our scores would be tallied, we'd switch off characters, and he would always walk away the victor.

One particular year, we were all playing, and the scores were tight.

Dennis was his usual Captain Falcon with the pink booties. (He did that because Donald loves color changes.) Phil went for his usual Donkey Kong, and I was mixing it up between Shiek and Zelda. Donald was good old Mario, in green and purple.

We were tightly locked in battle, hovering in front of the television. We played timed battle and the object was to kill each other as many times as possible in the short while. The person with the most kills comes out the victor.

"My eyes are killin' me." Dennis said, squinting at Captain Falcon, as a punch from Donkey sent him sailing into a landmine.

"Maybe you're just getting old," I didn't miss a beat, quickly performing a Down "A" action to send Donkey over the edge. Everyone managed to stay on the stage, however. The main object of Super Smash Brothers is to wear down an opponent and to send him or her flying over the edge. This was the longest battle we had fought yet. The percentage points of each character was in the 90% - 100% range. The higher the percentage, the easier it is to knock someone off. No one had fallen yet. The timer was almost out. Phil began to perform the Donkey Kong ground shake attack, catching me and Dennis in the tremors, knocking our characters continuously up in the air. Donald came out of no where. He has a silly smirk on his face as he charged into battle and chucked a live Bob-omb at us. That was the end of the battle.

Donald is sneaky.

Super Mario jumps?

Life is full of ridiculous shock and awe moments. Some of them are disturbing, while others keep you clutching your sides for years to come. Quite often, these two feelings collide to make a moment in life an epic historical spectacle that should be immortalized.

There was this one day in my life where I thought I'd seen the most ridiculous display ever. A moment that claimed this prize of epic milestones. This time was a simpler time, when the worst thing in my life involved going to math class every day at Montgomery Elementary school. Yet, at this time, school was out. It was a lovely summer day, with baby blue skies (you know the kind) and little wisps of marshmallow fluffy clouds drifting on a casual breeze. The buzz of dragonflies and hum of grasshoppers played a taunting tune as we were being forced into a vehicle, far away from summer fun.

My mother gathered us kids into our rickety white, pin-striped van. Some of us grasped onto the door, in hopes that she would not close it on our fingers. My brothers and I were begging, pleading, bribing her to reconsider her position, but our propositions fell on deaf ears. And she almost did catch our fingers in the door as she slammed it shut.
For moments, we huddled in the center of the hot tub tempartures of the van. It was dark(the shades were down), and sticky(someone spilled soda before), and everywhere we touched was like a burner that had been left on high for an hour.

Finally, light leaked through as our mother climbed into the car. "We're going to grandpa's and that's the end of it. Get in your seats."

Okay, maybe we were a bit overdramatic, but Harvey's Lake was a 40 minute drive. Going to grandpa's wasn't exactly the best idea on such a lovely summer day.  We plastered ourselves to the windows like Garfield cling decorations, and me. Grandpa always gave us stale candy, and asked Dennis to beat video games for him. It was all well and good, but only Dennis ever got to play, and not for very long.

"What do you think he'll have you beat now?" Philip asked Dennis, but he wasn't paying attention. He was staring out the window, brow furrowed.

"He probably can't even do it," I said, trying to get a rise out of him. This didn't work either.

"Fine. I hope he doesn't have stale Blow-Pops. Those things are gross."

"God, would you just shut up already?" Dennis growled and hit Philip with his cap. "Just wait. We're almost there."

I turned away from the boys and sank down into the chair. To keep my mind off the blue world outside, I tried to think of every game Dennis had played for grandpa. He had Super Mario World, Mario All-Stars, and Donkey Kong Country for the SNES. Recently, grandpa had taken a liking to the original Mario Brothers. Whatever game it was, I was still happy to watch.

When we finally rolled up to the ramshackle white and grey house near Harvey's Lake, my brother's and I dogpiled out of the car in a giant lump; except for Dennis. He was still dragging his feet, grumbling about 'stupid kids'.  We climbed to our feet and brushed off our clothing. Our mother ushered us toward the house when we noticed grandpa's tv sitting outside on the stoop. We stared at it and groaned.

"Now what are we going to do?" I whined, but I stopped once I heard the recognizable Mario jingle. My mother glanced at the television, and I craned my neck over to take a gander as well. Nothing seemed to be wrong with it. She shrugged and entered the house. We halted in the doorway. There was my grandfather, stooped over, staring into the smallest television I've ever seen, perhaps on a Martz Bus once. My grandpa was not a small man. He was large, about six foot, and very heavy set. His eyebrows were bushy black and his hair a wavy, permed grey. His lower lip acted like it was too big for his mouth to it protruded far beyond his top lip, making him look a bit like a bull dog. He never smiled, and he certainly wasn't about to start now.

"Dad, what are you doing?" My mom asked, slowly guiding us into the house. "What's wrong with your tv?"

"Nothin's wrong. There's this jump in Mario. It's too big to make." My grandpa said gruffly.

"Wait. You couldn't make a jump in Super Mario...so--" Dennis started.

"Got a smaller tv. Make's the jump smaller," Grandpa said.

How do you react to something like that?  That lovely memory aside, I have told the story many times since then, and it never fails to get a dumbfounded look and a chuckle. There's not much more too it, but my grandpa has done many things that fall into the epic memory category. And...I guess he eventually did make that jump.

Luck of The Draw

Alright, if you, fellow gamers, ever come across this colorful game box, do yourself a favor and pick it up. Luck of The Draw is one of the most enjoyable drawing games on the market.

My friends and I recently stumbled across this gem of a game while in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. We were shopping in a little hardware store for something to do in case it rained. We picked up a pack of playing cards, some poker chips, and my friend Amy stopped at the game aisle.

There she found this lovely little game.

The object of the game is to draw, but a player doesn't have to be a good artist. The game is multiplayer, and it's not difficult; so it is good for children, or people who have the attention span of children.
The game pieces involved are the subject cards, category cards, timer, pencils, pads, voting cards, a die, and colored chips.

In order to play the game, each player must take a pad, a pencil, and a voting card. Following that, each player must select a chip and place it by the timer. The way my friends and I played, we each took turns rolling the die to pick subjects and category cards. With the roll of the three sided die, a player takes a subject card and read the corresponding subject, i.e skunk. The players have until the timer runs out to draw their best skunk and put it face down in a pile.
The pile is shuffled and lined up with a colored chip next to each picture. The player rolls the die again and that many cards (1-3) from the 'category' which determines how each player votes. Some examples are "Should have used an eraser," "Most Realistic," or "Best use of Stick Figure." The players use the 'voting' cards to chose which they think best suits the category. The player who gets the most votes takes the card, and the one who wins 7 cards completes the game.The voting cards are color wheels that have each color corresponding with a chip. Fair. Unbiased. Down right fun.

The game can last longer than just '7' cards and these pictures can be down-right revealing of your friends' personalities. The timer makes the game more interesting, because even if a player is a good artist the timer only allows for some quick thinking. It's great, because the objective is always changing. If anyone is looking for a fun board game to play with a group of friends, or family, this is one to buy.